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When I was a kid, I would come home from school and while babysitting upwards of 8 other kids, my mom would have Oprah Winfrey (as the show was called at the time) on the TV. We were all under the age of 10 so who cared about what was on TV, we had fart jokes to make.

When I was a little older, maybe 9, I remember being really into MC Hammer (what? You weren’t?) and when he was on Oprah I watched the whole thing. That might have been the same day I decided that I no longer like MC Hammer. Even though 2 Legit 2 Quit came out after that appearance. And that song, with it’s brilliant hand motion dance is  still embedded in my brain like that scene in Misery where Kathy Bates hobbles James Caan.

Anyway, Oprah, is pretty much the biggest celebrity in the world. I know more people watch Ellen and that the Kardashian’s have like 11 different clothing lines and workout tapes but Oprah is…Oprah.

I have done okay as a bartender. People seem to like most of my drinks and I like doing it and my training in radio and media probably help with having people recognize my name as “one of the best in the city” (thanks Christine). However, I have made a decision. I will not truly be a “successful” bartender until I make a drink for Oprah, that she likes.  Her 60th birthday is January 29th 2014. I want to be the bartender at that party. This is not a joke, and this definitely is not about making money, it is about making a drink for someone that could run for president and win, easily, and having her appreciate what I do. I like when anybody appreciates what I do, but to have someone that worked her way to becoming the biggest name in media from a southern U.S. town by, for the most part, following her wits and wills is something I don’t think anyone else has ever decided to do. I mean Dale DeGroff and Audrey Saunders being into my shit would be rad too, but they are only a big deal to other booze nerds (which is impressive considering how self-important a lot of us come off). Or having Emeril drink a Calar Del Sole and like it would feel good too, but Oprah Fucking Winfrey shouting “This is DELIciouuuuuuussssss!”? Who wouldn’t want that?
So the first step is that I am letting everyone know that this is something I intend to do. Any of my friends still involved in media, please put my name out there. Any liquor reps hosting TIFF parties or whatever, keep me in mind. Hal Johnson follows me on Twitter now, so I feel like that’s a step.

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